Concealing sorrows with smiles and pretense is a lot harder that it seems. No matter how hard I tried, even by means of distracting myself with other things, I’m still struggling to stay afloat.
It hurts, so much, when things I never knew or even thought would happened to me happened. At that very moment, it left me speechless. I was angry and sad. Even more so, I felt unappreciated. I wanted to run away from everything. All I wanted was to shut everything off my mind by being alone. But I failed. Because each time I’m alone, the memories came hunting me.
I had enough, enough of bottling up all my negative feelings just so that it wouldnt affect people around me in anyway. But I have my limits too. And it just comes to a point when it’s too overwhelming and intolerable and it kind of make me burst out.
I guess you could say I learnt my lesson the hard way. But I wouldn’t say it’s unfair because life has never been fair to begin with. Nevertheless, I’m sure there’s reasons for everything. I just haven’t found my reason yet.
Gosh, I just hope I have the strengths to carry on. I’m already losing my appetite now. I don’t even want to meet anyone eventhough I know that could probably help. =X
Sorry to whoever whom I ditched. I just needed time on my own. And thanks to all those who were concern. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. Soon enough. I hope..
